I had to wait to write this post. Yesterday I was too angry to write it out, but I want to write it while it's still fresh in my mind.
There are no words to describe seeing so many orphans. I've seen pictures. I've heard stories. But when they reach out to you and tug on your skirt and lift up their arms you realize
You. Had. No. Idea.
Not a clue.
They were covered in scabies and dirt and layers of filthy clothing.
They were deformed and sick.
And I realized on that day that I had never seen anything so incredibly beautiful.
I sat in the midst of them and held them. I told them they were beautiful.
I told them they were handsome.
I told them Jesus loves them.
I don't know how as a Christian I could not be angry as I looked around and saw those that the world has shut away. We have shut away. We have gone about our business, our lives and pretended not to know their utter devastation. We have pretended that an orphan crisis is something exaggerated by passionate fanatics. We have avoided the topic in our churches. We have ignored them. We have failed to teach people about orphan care.
We did this. We did it ourselves by pretending and choosing to close our eyes.
We brought this on them. We didn't just forget, we ignored.
I am undone.
These are the ones we have ignored.
We have said the cost is too great and banished them to rundown orphanages
so that we can pretend that the world is good and kind.
But it's not kind to them is it?
We say we follow Christ.
And yet we have no part of "true religion" James 1:27
We told him that the cost of his redemption is too high.
We told these babies that the sacrifice it too great.
We told them we couldn't handle their needs.
We told him that he has too many fingers and we can't love him.
We left her behind.
I know this is a forward post, perhaps even harsh. If I sound angry it's because I am. I'm angry that we have decided that our lives are worth more than theirs. I assure you that I include myself in that "we."
I walked away to screams of "mama, baba!" I cried and cried on the van ride home because I had to leave them behind not knowing if they would ever have a mama and baba.
May God forgive us.
May He give us the strength and courage to follow Him, wherever He leads.