Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The Why's

I was kindly reminded by my dearest friend today that I often explain things by starting at step ten instead of step one. Sounds a lot like something my husband says...often. Let me start off by saying that I am so sorry for my constant lack of organization in my explanations.

Why are we adopting?
We have a beautiful family with three precious kids. Please know that I feel deeply blessed by what God has given me. I am in awe of the love that surrounds me daily.
Long ago, when we were dating Craig and I decided that we would always remain open to adoption whenever and wherever that may take us. Our decision was based on God's command to care for the orphans and fatherless children. We felt a strong urgency that this meant we would welcome children into our home that did not share our genetic makeup. It's simply obedience to our Father. We prayed about it and gave it to our Lord. We talked about it for about five years and after the birth of our second child decided to go forward with adoption. Only God had other plans. He closed the door and let us know it was not His timing for us yet. So we waited. God blessed us with another son.

About a year after Cayden was born we began praying about adoption one more time. We decided to go ahead and take the classes all over again and slowly, very slowly walk the road of adoption. When we talked about where we would adopt we saw so much need here in our own country that we decided to adopt domestically through the foster system. We did not feel fostering was a good choice for our young family, but we decided to adopt kids that were waiting for a family here in the United States. We took our classes, had a home study done and began to wait and search for our child. I want to let you know that we were very, very open to what we would take into our home. As long as they were safe and would not harm our young children we would take ages up to 16 and many, many special needs.

Why International?
I spent nearly nine months searching, calling agencies, emailing social workers. I spent hours every single day looking and giving it 100%. We inquired on almost 100 kids. 100!! We were told the same thing again and again, we had a great home study, they would keep it on file, but their kids needed a home without other children. When we began to reach our one year mark my husband and I started talking about our options. We could remain in "the system" for years or we could consider going through an international adoption. If God had called us to adoption, but closed the door in our country until our kids were older should we not adopt at all?

Truthfully it was a difficult decision. I still have mixed emotions about adoption internationally. There are kids here in our country that are hurting and need homes. Please, don't think that I am advocating for not even trying to adopt them first. Try, please try. Please give it your best shot. I am saying that it is a broken system and nearly impossible to navigate. For us, with young kids, it was just a closed door. But we did try. Please believe me when I say I gave it everything I had. I cried for these kids. I prayed for every single face I saw, and I rejoiced when they found families.

We decided we would consider international adoption. We wanted to be open to adopting a waiting child that needed a family. I did not feel comfortable leaving them behind while I waited for years on a list for a perfect little bundle of health. The thought breaks my heart.

Why China? 
China, China, China. The very word invokes strong emotions for me. It always has. It is a country that I have prayed for since I was a young child. Honestly, I even had a map of the world with China circled on my dorm room wall in college! I spent hours on my knees for the people of this country.

When we began looking and gathering information on countries we decided to only go to Hague countries. We wanted to make sure our adoption was ethical. China has a long standing adoption program and it is one of the most stable international adoption programs.

What decided it completely was the child, the boy named Miles.

Why Miles?
I read a blog fairly often called www.cheaperbythehalfdozens.blogspot.com where there were listed kids that were in critical need of finding a family soon. I had seen a dozen kids on that site and this day, the very day we said we would consider international adoptions, one boy stuck in my mind. Well, we went on to research countries and I got a call from an agency one day about a different little girl. I had told this worker we would look over the file of the girl, but at the last minute I thought I might as well ask if she knew of a little boy in a striped shirt with thalassemia. I heard the insanity of my own question as I asked it knowing that there were thousands of kids in China and with many different agencies. What were the chances she knew of one little boy in a striped shirt???

The little boy in the striped shirt was sitting in a file on her computer and it was this worker's job to find him a family. She didn't even have to ask. I agreed to review his file.

We know what thalassemia is. We know what it means for our family. We know there is an unpredictable future. We know that heartache may come.

We also know that we serve a God of Love Who has loved Miles. He has loved Miles from the moment he was conceived, to the moment he breathed his first breath, to the moment his mommy and daddy left him after finding out his diagnosis. He has been whispering His love to this little boy every night with the evening breeze. He has spoken His love for this boy while opening our hearts to adoption. He shouted His love for Miles when He closed every door to us in our own country and He is singing His love over Miles while we rush to bring him home. He is singing my friends, singing. Can you hear His song of Love for this little boy? Can you hear the Savior's love song for my son?

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