Thursday, May 31, 2012

Gideon and Grace

Here's the update on our progress:

We are finished with our first round of paperwork and getting it in the mail today! Phew.
One done, a million to go.
Now we get to start the fun dossier.
In real terms it's more legal paperwork which all goes over to China. China!
We've already got a good headstart on the dossier since we already had to send a lot of it to be approved by China to adopt Jiang.
We have raised/saved close to $2500!

I don't know if there is any scientific evidence to what I am about to say, but I am here to tell you that all of those crazy preggo hormones exist in the adoptive process. Why? I have no idea! I guess my body and mind know that I'm going to a mom again, but shoot keep the hormones! Hot flashes, restless leg syndrome and lactating are not my friends these days. My husband has that deer in the headlights look that he has for the nine months of pregnancy which means one thing. I am not imagining these hormones! The poor man. Add him to your prayer list...he's going to need it. However, the one comfort that it brings to me is that I know deep in my heart Jiang is MY son. My mind knows it, my heart knows it and my body is proving to me that it knows it too. Weird. Really weird, I know.

This week has been one of those weeks that I feel anxious. One of the weeks where I break down in the middle of my run sobbing because I wonder if we will reach Jiang in time to save him. The what if's have broken through and are shouting into my heart and it leaves my heart anxious. I am anxious to see God's mighty hand working in ways that leave me breathless. I am anxious to see and hold my son and know that he will know me. I am anxious to know that my son has heard the name of Jesus and has known His love. I am anxious. I'd like to tell you otherwise, but I promised myself to write a truthful blog on our adoption and anything else would be less than my honesty. I am anxious.

To calm my anxious heart I have started a journal that I call "Remembering God in the Impossible." Everyday I write down stories from Scripture where God did the completely impossible. Feel free to remind me of those that you think of, it has been immensely helpful.

I have been encouraged by one of our prayer partners to read Gideon's story again. I am so glad for that push to dig back into his story. I was reminded of how God took Gideon's already small army and made it even smaller so that God's people would see and know that He alone did this great work. It hit home and made me realize that God has me right where He wants me so that the world will know that He is doing this. I am so thankful that Gideon heard and answered the call of the Lord. I am selfishly thankful for all of his doubts and that God in His grace recorded them for me to read all these years later.


  1. It's so easy to be anxious but remember Phil. 4:6, when my mom had cancer last year is when my faith was tested again, but she was the one to remind me of Titus 1:2-5, considering all the trials of life a great joy. I have seen amazing things that God has done in another friend who is in the midst of adopting as well, and in my mom who found out this week she is cancer free, God is AWESOME and I am praying for God's peace and wisdom to surround you and your family as you prepare the paperwork and not to stress about anything and that God's will be done.

  2. I am so glad you were encouraged by the story of Gideon! The Lord reminded me of that precious story in the midst of my preparation for a Church bake sale for our youth. I was trying to teach our kids that through faith and hard work nothing is impossible with God (Faith without works is dead). We set a goal of $500.00 because the kids wanted to remodel the youth room and buy a flat screen tv. We had very few items come in for the bake sale and then I received a call from a friend of mine who said she had a Buttermilk pie to contribute. I met her in town and picked up the pie. I returned home and as I stepped out from my car, the beautiful Buttermilk pie landed face down on my driveway. Fighting back tears, I fell to my knees. It was there, humbled before the Lord, that God whispered in my ear, "Finally, I have you right where I want you, on your knees in prayer." In that moment of fellowship with God, He reminded me that with Him on my side He could accomplish a lot with a very little.Just look at what I did with Gideon. I placed my complete trust in Him and watched as He miracuously transformed five pies and a dozen or so cupcakes into &510.20! Exactly what we needed and then some.

    My next hero of the faith that I want to share with you is Jacob. He has a rather colored past of trickery and deceit, but it is the part of his story where he wrestles with God that I want to draw your attention to. Simon and I read the Bible to Daniel every night before he goes to sleep and when we came across this part of Genesis I thought of you! Jacob refuses to give up the fight until he receives the blessing from God. You are going to need to have that kind of perserverance backed by faith to see this journey through. So I want to remind you not to give up until you get the blessing that God has rightfully promised you, Jiang. And just as Jacob's life was forever changed, marked by a change in name, your life will be forever changed as well, marked by the arrival of a sweet little boy. Excited to be on this journey alongside you.

    God's grace, mercy and peace be with you and your family.